In our society of attention-seekers, it can be hard to accept the plain simple truth: not everyone is going to like you and it’s not the end of the world if they don’t.
Today, we constantly live in the illusion that we should strive to be popular, trendy, and nice to everybody.
But is being everyone’s friend the key to happiness? Moreover, is it possible to get all the people you know to like you?
Why Not Everyone Is Going to Like You and That’s OK
1. Everyone is different
Certain people don’t resonate, some personalities clash, and that’s okay. Everyone is different, after all.
Even if you are the most perfect man or woman in the world, there will always be someone who doesn’t like the type of person you are. Not because you are flawed or not likable but because they just don’t find your type of personality appealing.
Just as everyone is different so is their preference for the people they want to surround themselves with.
2. It’s impossible to like everyone
I bet you too have a list of behaviors and personality traits that you can’t stand in others. Maybe you also have a list of characteristics that leave you indifferent.
So, when you meet a person like this, you don’t seek to get to know them better. You are simply uninterested.
Yes, not everyone is going to like you, and it goes both ways. You too don’t like every single person you know, do you?
There is no better way to make peace with this fact than look at the situation the other way. This is when you realize that it’s a universal truth that works the same way for everybody, not just you.
3. People are judgmental, and that’s okay
Humans are wired to judge others, and it often makes them jump to conclusions and dislike someone for no reason. This habit has evolutionary roots – it helps us quickly differentiate between friends and foes, which is crucial for our survival.
Even though some people are more judgmental and negative than others, even the most open-minded folks judge. After all, looking at others with a critical eye allows you to make sense of who they are. As a result, it helps you perceive the world around you.
So, accept the fact that everyone judges one another and that’s okay if someone doesn’t like you. It’s a part of human nature.
4. Being liked by everyone is an illusory goal
Most people crave social acceptance to some extent – it’s an intrinsic need we all have.
But the problem is that this natural psychological need has turned into toxic addiction in today’s society. A quick glance at your social media feed will be the best confirmation of this worrisome trend.
So many people today share every detail of their private lives with the whole world on Facebook and Instagram. Why? Do they really think that random strangers online want to see their new outfit or want to know what they had for breakfast?
In reality, they are in desperate need of others’ acceptance. Getting likes and positive comments makes them feel good and like they are enough. And the sad irony is that it’s never enough for them. Their addicted brains ask for more.
People who have fallen victim to social media addiction can’t imagine their lives without making new selfies and posting pictures of their coffee cups, outfits, and the places they attend. Social sites that used to be platforms for sharing news with your friends have turned into a celebration of vanity.
But it’s just an illusion. If you devote your life to seeking everyone’s validation, you condemn yourself to unhappiness and disappointment.
So, get over the fact that not everyone is going to like you and that’s fine. It’s a much wiser choice than living for others’ acceptance.
5. The harder you try, the less they like you
Being a people pleaser is a one-way road to disappointment. It can sometimes lead you to be used and mistreated by others. And it certainly is not going to get you the friends you want.
You are doing your best to please everyone around you, and yet, no one seems to respect or like you. Why? Because no matter how shallow or brainwashed today’s people may be, they still gravitate toward strong and confident personalities who are comfortable in their own skin.
If you never express your opinion and always agree with everyone, you come across as a person who has no voice. Someone who doesn’t have a distinct personality and is just copying and following others. That’s why putting conscious effort into making everyone like you is pointless.
The same is true if you act fake just to seem more likable and win friends. People will figure you out sooner or later.
6. Sometimes not being liked by others means you are doing something right
Being a people-pleaser is a thankless task, but doing your thing can also isolate you from others. Sometimes the crowd doesn’t like you because you are walking in the opposite direction.
There are many instances when people dislike you just because you are not afraid to live life according to your rules.
Maybe you are too blunt and call things by their names instead of sugar-coating the truth. You could be too independent and not care about what others think of you, so you skip pleasantries, small talk questions, and fake smiles.
It might be that you are a highly reserved person and are more comfortable staying quiet at parties and gatherings instead of starting conversations with random people.
All the above examples fail to fit the socially accepted model of ‘nice’ behavior. But is being ‘nice’ always good? The problem is that ‘nice’ often happens to be fake.
So, if people don’t like you just because you are genuine and don’t shy away from the truth, then you are doing the right thing.
7. The right ones will like you anyway
If you act fake or try hard to please others, you may manage to come across as a nice person. But such behaviors also leave you hiding your true self. It means that even if you meet “your tribe”, they won’t be able to recognize you in your “nice guy” disguise.
If you are true to yourself and not trying to hide your personality from others, not everyone is going to like you. But the right ones will. No matter how blunt, aloof, or flawed you may seem, people who are the right company for you will still be interested.
Ultimately, having a few good like-minded friends is what matters more than being liked by everyone, don’t you think? Surrounding yourself with interesting personalities who love and accept you for who you are is much more valuable than being everyone’s friend.
To sum up, the sooner you make peace with the fact that everyone is not going to like you, the happier you will be. After all, living for others’ acceptance is an illusory goal. It’s much better to live a life of purpose, do what makes you happy, and finally stop worrying about other people and their opinions about you.