We all want to be surrounded by people who support, accept, and respect us. After all, what are friendships for? But sadly enough, sometimes those we consider our friends behave very differently than that.
If you suspect that someone in your social circle is inconsiderate of your feelings, check the below signs your friend doesn’t respect you. It’s a good idea to watch for such people in your immediate environment.
And most importantly, you will need to ask yourself whether they deserve to be a part of your life.
8 telling signs your friend doesn’t respect you
1. They don’t listen to you
Listening is an essential component of friendship. It shows that you care about the other person. If your friend constantly interrupts you and shows no interest in talking about you, it makes sense to question their attitude.
Some people are selfish and want to talk only about themselves. But it doesn’t give them the right to interrupt others. Even if you are close friends, it’s plain disrespectful.
2. They ridicule your choices and preferences
Do your friends criticize and laugh at your choices and preferences?
For example, you offer to go to the cinema and watch the latest sci-fi movie you were looking forward to. But your friends say this film is total garbage. They may even make some nasty remarks about your movie taste.
This behavior shows clear disrespect. Even if your preferences differ from those of your friends, you should not tolerate deprecating remarks of this kind.
3. They don’t take your opinion into account and make decisions for you
Another sign your friend doesn’t respect you is that they make decisions for you, without even asking for your opinion.
For example, your friend believes that you need to get over the painful breakup you had one month ago and start seeing new people. So she arranges for you to meet someone without even asking if you are ready for dating or not. She is convinced that she knows better what you need.
Even though this behavior may arise from genuine concern, it betrays a lack of respect. A good friend always asks for your opinion before making a decision that affects you. Otherwise, it shows that they don’t trust your judgment.
4. They diminish your aspirations
One of the most frustrating signs of a disrespectful friend is that they diminish your dreams. When our friends don’t take our aspirations seriously, it feels like they are clipping our wings.
Following a dream requires energy and support from those around you. If your friends laugh at your goals and make discouraging comments, it can kill your passion before it even gets the chance to bring results.
Be wary of dream killers in your social circle. A true friend will speak their mind if they believe that your goal is unrealistic. But they will be respectful and objective. They will never bash or laugh at your dreams.
5. They violate your personal boundaries
A surefire sign of a lack of respect is that your friend doesn’t hesitate to violate your personal boundaries.
The simplest examples of this behavior include showing up at your door uninvited or calling you in the middle of the night. They may also ask you intrusive personal questions you don’t want to answer. Or bring random people to your place without asking for your permission.
Being friends with someone doesn’t mean that your personal boundaries cease to exist. If your friend repeatedly violates them, it is a clear sign of disrespectful behavior.
6. They take you for granted
Being taken for granted by family or friends is one of the most disappointing experiences. When your friends don’t value your support or even presence, it’s easy to feel invisible and unappreciated.
But even worse is when someone you consider a friend believes that you have the obligation to help them all the time. This is when they dump their problems on you without even asking if you are available.
They think they can always borrow money from you and constantly ask you for favors. In general, they act as if you owe them something.
Yes, friends are meant to support each other. But it should be reciprocated. Otherwise, it’s a one-way friendship that lacks respect and genuine interest.
7. They get rude
Honesty is one of the most important qualities of a true friend. But it should not cross the line of rudeness.
It’s great to have a blunt friend who tells you the truth and gives you honest advice. It’s a rare trait in our society of fakeness and conformity.
But you should know how to tell a straightforward friend from someone who doesn’t respect you. If they think that it’s okay to criticize you harshly, bully you, or call you names (even if it’s just for fun), it’s a huge red flag. You should never tolerate behaviors of this kind, even if they come from your close friend and are disguised as jokes.
8. They belittle your problems and concerns
Finally, another one of the most telling signs your friend doesn’t respect you is that they belittle your problems.
Say that you caught a cold and stayed in bed all day. Your friend texts you, and you tell him that you feel unwell and have a temperature of 99 F. He says, “Come on, it’s not even a fever! Not a big deal!”
This kind of reply makes you feel silly as if you are making a mountain out of a molehill. Okay, even if it’s not a big deal, it’s not the kind of response you would expect from your friend when you are ill.
When you are going through a difficult time, it’s natural to expect support and empathy from your friends.
If they belittle your problems and brush off your concerns as unimportant, it makes you feel insignificant. As if you and your problems don’t matter.
Empathy is another crucial component of friendship. If the person you consider your friend doesn’t take your problems seriously, it could be that they don’t respect or care about you.
How to deal with a disrespectful friend?
Does the description above sound like someone in your social circle? Do you have a friend who disrespects you? If you do, then there are two basic ways you could address the problem.
If you care about this person, it’s a good idea to let them know that you find their behavior disrespectful. You could tell them that their words and actions hurt you. If you matter to them, they will be more careful.
But it could also be that you are confusing a random person for a friend. In this case, ask yourself if their presence in your life means anything. If they are just using you, be sure that you will be better off without such ‘friends’.
To sum up, don’t let anyone disrespect you – be it a friend, a boss, or a family member. Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.