It may be tempting to think that you have plenty of friends. Social media platforms like Facebook have made it easier than ever to confuse the meaning of friendship.
They give us the illusion that every single person we know is our friend and that everybody around us cares. But is it really so? The bitter truth is that not everyone is your friend and there are some good reasons why. We explore them below.
8 Reasons Why Not Everyone Is Your Friend
1. We have different types of connections with different people
People nowadays seem to throw around the words such as ‘love’ and ‘friendship’ as if they mean nothing. They widely use the word ‘friend’ without considering its real definition.
You may be convinced that the neighbor you have chitchat with and the friendly co-worker in the office are your friends. In reality, they are just acquaintances.
Being friendly doesn’t equal being someone’s friend. After all, there are different levels of connections between people, and there is nothing wrong with being just an acquaintance to someone.
2. Not everyone is meant to be your friend
Some people just don’t vibe together. It doesn’t make sense to force a friendship with someone who has totally different interests and values. Not everybody you meet is meant to become your friend, and it’s fine.
Yes, you may be friendly to many and hang out with some, but only a few will grow to become your true friends.
Once again, it’s okay to stay just acquaintances or co-workers with some people. A friendship requires a lot more than just having small talk during lunch breaks.
3. Some people are fake
A lot more disappointing truth is that some of the people you believe are your friends are just being fake. You may have known them for some time. You may even tell them about your personal problems and they seem to care.
But you never know what’s really going on in someone else’s mind, do you? Some people are so good at pretending and faking their feelings that it’s not easy to see them for who they are, especially if you haven’t known them for years.
Yes, that’s probably one of the most disappointing truths out there: not everyone who acts as your friend is actually one.
4. Some people are just nosey
Mutual interest is the foundation for a friendship, right? It’s nice to meet someone who is interested in getting to know you.
So, you may get closer and have really personal conversations. The other person asks you questions and seems interested in general. So, you begin to think that he or she is your friend.
But what if they are just looking for some drama and food for gossip? Sadly, it happens a lot too often, and some people just happen to be nosey. Not everyone who listens to your problems is your friend.
5. Friendship is more than just hanging out together
I don’t know about you, but I have a persistent feeling that today’s friendships are as superficial as never before. Or maybe it just seems so because of the influence of social media.
Everyone tries to be better than everyone else and show others that they have a perfect life, a lot of friends, and a dream-like relationship.
For this reason, many people mistake hanging out with someone for being their friend. After all, connections on Facebook are called ‘friends’, right?
But a true friendship is much more than that. It’s about trust, loyalty, common values and shared interests. It’s not just about joking around and having pointless conversations.
So, not everyone you hang out with is your friend.
6. You don’t really know someone until adversity comes
When everything is good in your life, there are many people who want to be beside you. You make plans and hang out together, and it’s all perfect and fun.
When you are on the bright side of life, it’s easy to mistake random people for your friends. But as soon as hardships arise, you begin to see who is who.
Those who kept you company every weekend just disappear and don’t pick up your calls. The friend you thought you could rely on suddenly gets extremely busy and gives you an excuse for being unable to help you.
Adversity reveals people’s true faces. And if you haven’t been through hardships together with your friends, you can’t really be sure that you can count on them.
Therefore, not everyone you have fun with is your friend. You will only get to know people’s real selves in challenging times.
7. Some people are just transient visitors in your life
Not everyone you hang out with now is meant to stick with you through the years. Yes, you may spend a lot of time together with your friends and talk about some personal stuff too. But people often make connections based on a shared social environment.
For example, when you are in college, you typically have a lot of friends. But will all of them stay by your side for a lifetime? Not likely. Maybe you will keep in touch with just one or two.
Real friendships endure the test of time and hardship. Situational ones don’t. So, as soon as you graduate, most of your college buddies will magically disappear from your life.
In reality, not everyone is your friend – some people are just passers-by in your life.
8. Some people just seek to use you
Just as with nosey and fake people, there are also those who seek to take advantage of others. So, they act as your friends just to get what they want. And it doesn’t necessarily involve material gains.
For example, you may have a needy friend who uses you for emotional support. But whenever it’s you who needs a listening ear, she is not there.
It’s not always easy to realize that you are just a friend of convenience to someone. But if you pay attention, you will see the signs. This person will only show up when they need something.
And, of course, if someone behaves this way, they are not your friend at all even if you thought they were.
Not Everyone Is Your Friend Quotes
1. Everyone that you fight is not your enemy and everyone who helps you is not your friend.
2. Not everyone at your workplace is your friend. Do your job. Get paid. Go home.
3. Everybody isn’t your friend. Just because they hang around you and laugh with you doesn’t mean they’re for you. Just because they say they got your back, it doesn’t mean they won’t stab you in it. People pretend well. Jealousy sometimes doesn’t live far. So, know your circle. At the end of the day, real situations expose fake people, so pay attention.
4. When you’re up, there are hundreds of people who will claim you as a friend. When you’re down, you’re lucky if one will buy you a cup of coffee.
5. Normalize using words like colleague, classmate, acquaintance, old school mate, neighbor, and client. Not everybody is your friend.
6. Not everyone is your friend just because they smile in your face.
7. Never confuse people who are always around you with people who are always there for you.
8. Not everyone who spoke you friendly was really your friend.
-George R. R. Martin
9. Not everyone deserves your smiles, your passion, or your friendship.
10. It takes a long time to see past your own delusions: everyone isn’t nice, everyone isn’t your friend, and everyone isn’t supportive. Your heart is beautiful for seeing everyone in the best light, but it’s time to see them as they really are.
11. Don’t let others sabotage your happiness. Not everyone who listens to your problems is your friend. Some are just collecting information.
12. A friend of everyone is a friend of no one.
13. Be careful who you let into your circle. Not everyone deserves to be your friend.
14. As you move forward in life, you may need to change your circle of friends. Everyone around you isn’t interested in seeing you improve.
15. Know who is on your side, and who isn’t. Not everyone is a friend even if they say they are.
16. Always sleep with one eye open. Never take anything for granted. Your best friends might just be your enemies.
17. This is what happens. You tell your friends your most personal secrets, and they use them against you.
18. Be careful who you trust and tell your problems to. Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend.
19. One place where you can pretend to have a lot of friends is called “Facebook”.
20. Everyone is your best friend when you are successful. Make sure that the people that you surround yourself with are also the people that you are not afraid of failing with.
To sum up, it’s naïve to think that every single person you know and hang out with is your friend. It’s always better to stay realistic about the connections you make with other people. There is nothing bad about calling someone an acquaintance.
Realizing that not everyone is your friend may be painful, but in the end, it will save you from greater disappointment.