Jealousy is not limited to romantic relationships. It can be present in friendships too, and sometimes, it takes truly ugly forms. Fortunately, there are specific signs of a jealous friend that can reveal the truth.
You can have a codependent friend who doesn’t like you to hang out with other people, so s/he gets bitter when you do.
But the most common meaning of a jealous friend is someone who is competitive and envious of what you have. Such people are not happy for you and try to downplay your achievements.
Does this ring a bell? If you are not sure about what’s going on, below you will find the signs your friend is jealous of you.
12 Undeniable Signs of a Jealous Friend
1. They are competitive
Some people are more competitive than others, but unhealthy rivalry is a sign of a jealous friend. It seems like your friend gets bitter every time you achieve something, and they break their neck to show you they are doing better than you.
You can spot someone’s competitiveness by the questions they ask and the comments they make. Does your friend ask how much money you earn? Or how many square feet your apartment is?
It’s like they want to measure what you have in pounds/dollars/feet in order to compare it with their own possessions.
Your jealous friend can also make snobbish remarks, such as,
Actually, I did this back in college.
Only that? My car can speed up to 130 mph!
2. They boast a lot
You always hear stories about your friend being the best employee, parent, and person out there. Sometimes you get a persistent feeling that they just like to show off. And you are right.
It’s not a coincidence that your friend boasts a lot in front of you—they feel challenged, so they want to show you they are happier and more accomplished than you are.
Friendship is about trusting and helping each other, not proving who is better. If you never see your friend being vulnerable and talking about personal problems, something is not right. Probably, you two are not close enough, and you only see the perfect façade they want to show.
3. They downplay your achievements
One of the most telling signs your friend is jealous of you is that they never celebrate your success. It’s not a person to give you sincere congratulations on something you accomplished. Instead, they will try to belittle what you did with sarcastic jokes and ambiguous remarks.
Your friend is feeling jealous that you achieved something that they didn’t. That’s why they will do their best to make your success look insignificant. You will notice that the joy you felt is gone after talking to your friend. That’s because they poisoned your moment of glory with their envy and bitterness.
4. They make ambiguous comments and give you backhanded compliments
A jealous friend doesn’t only try to downplay your success, but also your lifestyle, career, or even the choice of a romantic partner. They seek to make you feel the same way they do–insecure and not good enough. Because the truth is that the most common root of jealousy is insecurity.
To achieve this, your friend will give you backhanded compliments like,
Nice dress! Makes you seem slimmer than you are!
Or ambiguous comments, such as,
Everyone makes a living in a way they can.
Only people like you listen to this kind of music.
He is the only type of man that could be with you.
5. They bring you down and make you feel not good enough
As a result, you feel bad about yourself in your friend’s company. Suddenly, your job, your relationship, your passions, and your whole life look like a joke.
It feels like your friend is the only person who knows the best and the right way to live while you are doing something wrong.
Beware of these kinds of feelings. If a friend repeatedly makes you doubt your worth, it’s a huge red flag.
6. They are not happy for you
Sometimes it seems like your friend can’t stand seeing you happy. And I’m not talking only about accomplishments. If something positive happens in your life and you share the news with your friend, they will make sure to spoil your joy.
They try to convince you that it’s too good to be true. They tell you stories about people in similar situations that ended badly.
Whether you started a new hobby, reunited with an old friend, or fell in love, your jealous friend will put a fly in the ointment.
7. They are not supportive
Similarly, when you make plans or think about starting something new, your friend immediately gets negative. They do their best to convince you that it’s a bad idea, and it’s not going to work.
One of the key signs of a jealous friend is that they are not supportive of your dreams and ambitions. Such people may even ridicule your aspirations, leaving you feeling silly and discouraged.
The truth is that jealous friends don’t want to see you moving forward in life. So, they will sabotage your progress with nasty and disparaging comments.
8. They feel challenged
Jealous friends often misunderstand your words and take things personally. For example, you are telling your female friend that you don’t like chicken, and she immediately thinks that you are talking about the dinner she gave you a month ago.
As a result, she gets bitter and defensive. That’s because she feels challenged in your company, so she takes your words as an attempt to put her down.
These kinds of reactions are among the surefire signs your friend is jealous of you.
9. They try to shift the conversation onto themselves
Conversational narcissism is among the key signs of a jealous friend. Whatever you discuss, you always end up talking about your friend. Sometimes it looks like they are not even listening. Whatever you tell them about, they just reply with a story of their own.
Jealous friends absolutely can’t stand hearing about others’ accomplishments. So, if you attempt to tell your friend about your promotion at work or the praise you got from someone, they will immediately bring up a story where they look like a winner.
Your jealous friend wants to make you seem pale and insignificant in their company. It’s a way for them to feel better about themselves.
10. They copy you
Your friend wants what you have, from the clothes you wear to the life you are living. That’s why they will copy you.
For example, one of the signs your female friend is jealous of you is that she copies your outfits. You just got yourself a stylish white handbag. Guess what? A week after, you see her with a similar item.
This is just one example of jealous behavior, but it’s not limited to the choice of outfits. A friend’s hidden jealousy can show itself in all areas of life, from copying your manner of speaking to even dating a similar type of person.
If a friend of yours acts like this, it’s a sign of truly toxic and unhealthy jealousy. Beware of such people.
11. They gossip and speak ill of others
How to spot the signs a friend is jealous of you? Watch how they talk about others. Most likely, your friend is jealous of everyone, not only you.
Such people will gossip a lot, belittle others’ achievements, and get bitter about their success.
In essence, jealous people seek to prove to others and themselves that they are better than everyone else. And speaking ill of others is what makes them feel good about themselves.
You can be sure that your friend gossips with others about you in a similar way.
12. They get passive-aggressive
Not all jealous friends are the same. Some of them boast and show their best self, but others do quite the opposite. They get bitter and passive-aggressive, seeking to make you feel guilty for having something they don’t.
This type of jealous friend will complain about life being unfair to them. According to them, other people, circumstances, and a bad luck are the reasons they didn’t accomplish what they wanted, while you did.
Here are some examples of passive-aggressive comments from jealous friends:
If only the timing had been right… I would have moved to the city like you did.
Not everyone is as lucky as you.
I’m not you—people always mistreat me.
To sum up, if you recognized someone from the above signs of a jealous friend, think about whether you really need to have such a person by your side. When someone is not happy for you and only seeks to prove that they are better than you, s/he is not really your friend.
True friendship is about mutual support and genuine interest. Do the above points sound like this? I don’t think so. A friendship poisoned by jealousy is not a true one. Keep this in mind the next time you hang out with envious and competitive people.
Featured image by benzoix on Freepik