Not all friendships are deep and genuine. Sometimes the connections we have with other people lack substance and other important things, such as caring and respect. If you suspect that this is what happens in your life, check through the below signs your friend doesn’t value you.
8 Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Value You As a Person
1. They show no respect
The most obvious sign is that your friend doesn’t respect you. It can show in many different ways, from constant criticism to openly rude behavior. How do you know if disrespect takes place in your friendship?
You will feel stupid, small, and unappreciated in your friend’s company. Every remark and joke they make, and even the way they talk to you, sounds mean and embarrassing. It’s like they don’t recognize that you have feelings and are worth of respect.
If you call out your friend for this behavior, they may say,
Come on, I’m just joking! Don’t be so sensitive!
Manipulative behaviors and disrespectful attitudes often get disguised as “just joking”. Beware of such people in your circle—friendships are impossible without mutual respect. When someone doesn’t recognize your value as a person, how can they be your friend?
2. They cross your personal boundaries
A friend who doesn’t value you will also disrespect your time and personal space. Overstepping boundaries is another sign of a lack of appreciation.
Do you have a friend who thinks it’s perfectly fine to show up at your door unannounced? Or someone who calls you in working hours to complain about their problems, without realizing they are distracting you from work?
There can also be a friend who constantly asks for favors and pushes you to say yes all the time, even when you don’t want to. The thought that this may not be a good moment doesn’t even cross their mind.
Such people see a situation from a purely selfish perspective, so they don’t take others’ needs into account. Hence the disrespect toward your personal boundaries.
3. They don’t take your opinion into account
When you don’t value someone, you automatically brush off their opinions as unimportant. This person’s words just don’t count. You are convinced that you are far more competent, so why even bother to listen to him/her?
Therefore, if you have a friend who never listens to you, it could be that they don’t value you as a person. It seems like they always know better what’s best for you, so they don’t bother to ask for your opinion. They don’t take your advice seriously, and they may also ridicule your words and behaviors.
Such friends make decisions for you, arrange things without considering your preferences in music or food, and neglect your needs in general. These kinds of friendships don’t bring any value to your life because you feel unseen and unappreciated around such people.
Moreover, keeping them too close may even take a toll on your self-esteem as you constantly spend time with someone who doesn’t recognize your worth.
4. They invalidate your feelings
The same happens when it comes to your feelings and emotions. Say that you have a problem in your marriage and decide to tell your friend about it. You are frustrated, and you need emotional support. But instead of listening to you and offering help, your friend smirks and says,
I wish I had your problems. Stop dwelling over such nonsense!
Emotional invalidation is one of the key signs your friend doesn’t value you. It doesn’t matter how big your problem is—a real friend will listen and say a few comforting words to make you feel better. Even if you are making a mountain out of a molehill, they will find a kind way to tell you this.
If your friend makes you feel small and unimportant, like your problems and feelings don’t matter, you should ask yourself whether you need such a person in your life.
5. They downplay your accomplishments
When we love and value someone, we are proud of them when they achieve something. We don’t compete with them or try to downplay their success. We just share their positive emotions and feel happy for them.
So, when someone is not your real friend, they won’t be happy for you. Moreover, they will undervalue your accomplishments and even try to downplay them. They don’t appreciate you or what you do, so even when you show your value with particular actions and achievements, they won’t change their mind.
Your friend will say that you just were lucky or someone helped you. They refuse to recognize your accomplishments because they don’t recognize your value as a person.
6. They take you for granted and exploit your kindness
Why would you be friends with someone you don’t value? Because you find this person convenient, of course.
So, beware of friends who always ask you for help and take it for granted. It’s like they expect you to always be there for them. Or like they demand you to. This is a friendship of convenience, not a real one. This person is just using you.
A key sign is that such a “friend” won’t show any appreciation or gratitude for what you do for them. They will exploit your kindness over and over again, without recognizing your effort. This dynamic will persist in your friendship: you are always the giver and they are the taker.
7. They show no interest in you and your life
This is a general sign of fake and one-sided friendships. When someone shows no interest in what’s going on in your life, it means that they don’t really care about you. They hang out with you for some reason, but they are not genuinely interested in you.
Does your friend never listen to you? Do all your conversations revolve around them and their problems? Do they confuse your kids’ names or forget about an important happening you told them about?
When you don’t value your friend, you don’t care to know what occupies their mind and what happens in their life. You don’t find them interesting or important enough.
Therefore, watch for behaviors that betray a lack of interest if you don’t want to waste your time on one-sided connections.
8. They disappear when they don’t need you
Finally, one more sign your friend doesn’t value you is that their presence in your life is fleeting and conditional. They may only call you when they need something. You help them, and then they disappear until the moment they need a new favor.
The same happens if you face a hard time in your life—your friend may suddenly stop calling and inviting you to their place. That’s because you can’t give them what they need—you are too occupied with your own problems.
Beware of friends who are only present in your life when you are happy and fine. Most likely, your friendship is superficial or even one-sided. When someone values you and cares for you, they will stay by your side, no matter what.
So, if you can’t say this about your friends, ask yourself:
Are these people really my friends? Do they belong with me?
Think twice before hanging out with people who don’t value you. Their lack of respect and appreciation toward you may damage your self-worth, too. Other people’s words and attitudes sometimes affect us deeper than we think.
And feeling small and invisible because someone is unable to recognize your value is the last thing you want.
Featured image by nakaridore on Freepik
