{"id":688,"date":"2021-11-26T12:24:49","date_gmt":"2021-11-26T12:24:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/?p=688"},"modified":"2021-11-26T12:24:49","modified_gmt":"2021-11-26T12:24:49","slug":"feeling-disappointed-in-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/feeling-disappointed-in-people\/","title":{"rendered":"Feeling Disappointed in People? Remember These 6 Sobering Truths"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Everyone faces disappointment at some point in their life. People let us down, betray our trust, and break our hearts. It\u2019s an inevitable part of life, and we can learn a lot from this frustrating occurrence.<\/p>\n<p>But what if these negative experiences have left you feeling disappointed in people in general? What if you no longer trust anyone and only expect the worst from those around you?<\/p>\n<p>This is when you feel alone, <a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/no-one-understands-me\/\">misunderstood<\/a>, and cut off from everyone. And this is when you need to remember a few simple truths to keep going.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_64 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title \" >Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #222222;color:#222222\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #222222;color:#222222\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/feeling-disappointed-in-people\/#6_Sobering_Truths_to_Remember_When_You_Feel_Disappointed_in_People\" title=\"6 Sobering Truths to Remember When You Feel Disappointed in People\">6 Sobering Truths to Remember When You Feel Disappointed in People<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/feeling-disappointed-in-people\/#1_When_someone_mistreats_you_its_the_reflection_of_their_worth_not_yours\" title=\"1. When someone mistreats you, it\u2019s the reflection of their worth, not yours\">1. When someone mistreats you, it\u2019s the reflection of their worth, not yours<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/feeling-disappointed-in-people\/#2_Its_your_expectations_that_leave_you_disappointed\" title=\"2. It\u2019s your expectations that leave you disappointed\">2. It\u2019s your expectations that leave you disappointed<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/feeling-disappointed-in-people\/#3_People_are_neither_bad_nor_good\" title=\"3. People are neither bad nor good\">3. People are neither bad nor good<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/feeling-disappointed-in-people\/#4_We_all_have_flaws_and_struggles\" title=\"4. We all have flaws and struggles\">4. We all have flaws and struggles<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/feeling-disappointed-in-people\/#5_You_are_responsible_for_setting_your_boundaries\" title=\"5. You are responsible for setting your boundaries\">5. You are responsible for setting your boundaries<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/feeling-disappointed-in-people\/#6_You_are_responsible_for_communicating_your_needs\" title=\"6. You are responsible for communicating your needs\">6. You are responsible for communicating your needs<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_Sobering_Truths_to_Remember_When_You_Feel_Disappointed_in_People\"><\/span>6 Sobering Truths to Remember When You Feel Disappointed in People<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_When_someone_mistreats_you_its_the_reflection_of_their_worth_not_yours\"><\/span>1. When someone mistreats you, it\u2019s the reflection of their worth, not yours<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>So many victims of abuse and bullying tend to neglect this simple truth.<\/p>\n<p>When something bad happens to you and you face mistreatment, it inevitably takes a toll on your self-esteem. Your faults suddenly seem so huge and unforgivable. You start to feel like a <a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/mind\/feeling-invisible-causes\/\">small, inferior, and totally worthless<\/a> human being.<\/p>\n<p>Otherwise, they would have never treated you this way, right?<\/p>\n<p>Wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Some people <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/abs\/pii\/S0278262615000627\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">are wired<\/a> for taking advantage of others. Some other individuals are trying to run away from their own demons by bullying and abusing those around them.<\/p>\n<p>Then there are also those who have no moral code and see nothing wrong in using and betraying their friends.<\/p>\n<p>There can be many more scenarios, but they all boil down to one sobering truth \u2013 people who mistreat others are fully responsible for their actions. Their behavior is their fault, not their victims\u2019.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Its_your_expectations_that_leave_you_disappointed\"><\/span>2. It\u2019s your expectations that leave you disappointed<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>When you feel like <a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/signs-your-friend-doesnt-care-about-you\/\">your sibling or friend doesn\u2019t care about you<\/a>, it\u2019s easy to end up disappointed in people as a whole. After all, it\u2019s painful to see a lack of interest from someone you used to have a close relationship with.<\/p>\n<p>But if you delve into the essence of your feelings, you will see that it\u2019s your own expectations towards this person that have left you disappointed. You expected that your friend would always be by your side and your relationship would never change.<\/p>\n<p>But life doesn\u2019t always work this way. People change \u2013 along with their circumstances and interests. Someone who used to be your best friend in college may no longer be the right company for you. Your sister may be focused on her own family now, and that\u2019s the reason she can\u2019t devote much time to you.<\/p>\n<p>Therefore, the best you can do is to keep your expectations toward other people low \u2013 or, at least, realistic. It\u2019s the surest way to avoid disappointment.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_People_are_neither_bad_nor_good\"><\/span>3. People are neither bad nor good<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>When we think about people as a whole, we often make assumptions that are intrinsically wrong. We <a href=\"https:\/\/www.princeton.edu\/~sjleslie\/A%20Bias%20to%20Spontaneously%20Generalize%20to%20Categories.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">tend to<\/a> generalize and put people into categories. Through these cognitive distortions, we find it easier to make sense of the world around us.<\/p>\n<p>For example, you may tend to believe that most people are evil \u2013 or at least selfish and unreliable. Or you could believe that most people are good by nature, even those who commit evil acts.<\/p>\n<p>But the truth is that people as a whole are neither good nor evil. Moreover, every given person has both negative and positive sides.<\/p>\n<p>Perceiving the world in extremes is a sure way to disappointment. You may expect others to be fairytale-like characters and get let down when they turn out to be ordinary people with flaws and weaknesses.<\/p>\n<p>Alternatively, you may be convinced that everyone around you seeks to hurt and take advantage of you. In this case, you suffer from chronic disappointment in people.<\/p>\n<p>Once again, it\u2019s your expectations that let you down, so it\u2019s better to keep them realistic to make sure you don\u2019t fall victim to unhelpful generalizations.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_We_all_have_flaws_and_struggles\"><\/span>4. We all have flaws and struggles<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Not taking toxic personalities and devious manipulators into account, most people don\u2019t mean to let others down. It happens because they have flaws and issues of their own.<\/p>\n<p>You may be disappointed in your friend who forgot about your birthday. But what if she had a really difficult day at work and literally had no time to call you? What if she had a terrible argument with her husband and couldn\u2019t think about anything else all day long?<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes other people\u2019s behavior lets us down, but they may be dealing with their own problems. Most of the time, they don\u2019t mean to hurt us.<\/p>\n<p>Misunderstandings often happen when we don\u2019t know the whole story. We just assume that the other person doesn\u2019t care. Or that they are using us. But things are not always what they seem.<\/p>\n<p>So when you feel disappointed in people, remember that they have their own struggles and flaws and don\u2019t always behave the way you want them to.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_You_are_responsible_for_setting_your_boundaries\"><\/span>5. You are responsible for setting your boundaries<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>You are not responsible for other people\u2019s behavior. But you are responsible for what you allow other people to do to you.<\/p>\n<p>For example, you suspect that someone sees you as <a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/friend-of-convenience-signs\/\">a friend of convenience<\/a>. They always ask you for favors and pop up in your life when they need something.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s quite a disappointing situation, especially if you thought this person was your friend. You are genuinely interested in this friendship and have a great time with them, but their behavior tells a different story.<\/p>\n<p>Once again, you are disappointed because your expectations toward this person failed, but there is more to it. You may have no power over their behavior, but you are in charge of your own boundaries.<\/p>\n<p>You choose whether you will let them take advantage of you or not. It\u2019s always better to say no to such people than hold onto the illusion that they would be there for you if you needed their help.<\/p>\n<p>When we help people who don\u2019t deserve it, it inevitably leads us to disappointment because we feel that our efforts were taken for granted.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_You_are_responsible_for_communicating_your_needs\"><\/span>6. You are responsible for communicating your needs<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Sometimes people let us down\u2026 without even realizing it. So we are responsible for letting them know about it.<\/p>\n<p>Poor communication is probably the most basic root of all friendship and relationship problems. We all have needs and expectations, but we don\u2019t always communicate them effectively.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, humans still haven\u2019t mastered the art of telepathy, which means that the only way to let someone know about your feelings is to talk to them. They may not even be aware that their behavior lets you down!<\/p>\n<p>Communicating your needs and expectations clearly is particularly important in close relationships. Your friends, family, and partner deserve to know why you are pulling away.<\/p>\n<p>They may have no idea that their behavior or decision bothered you so much. It may not seem a big deal to them.<\/p>\n<p>So instead of feeling disappointed in people and angry at the whole world, find the courage to talk to the person who let you down. The whole situation may just be a misunderstanding.<\/p>\n<p>To sum up, failed expectations are the main cause of disappointment. So the best thing you can do to avoid it is to view other people and your relationships with them realistically. Also, remember to set strong boundaries and communicate your needs as clearly as you can.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Everyone faces disappointment at some point in their life. People let us down, betray our trust, and break our hearts. It\u2019s an inevitable part of life, and we can learn a lot from this frustrating occurrence. But what if these negative experiences have left you feeling disappointed in people in general? What if you no &#8230; <a title=\"Feeling Disappointed in People? Remember These 6 Sobering Truths\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/feeling-disappointed-in-people\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Feeling Disappointed in People? Remember These 6 Sobering Truths\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":689,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[16],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/688"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=688"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/688\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":691,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/688\/revisions\/691"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/689"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=688"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=688"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=688"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}