{"id":1335,"date":"2023-05-10T10:52:09","date_gmt":"2023-05-10T10:52:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/?p=1335"},"modified":"2023-05-10T10:52:09","modified_gmt":"2023-05-10T10:52:09","slug":"arent-you-tired-of-being-nice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/arent-you-tired-of-being-nice\/","title":{"rendered":"Aren\u2019t You Tired of Being Nice? Do These 8 Things to Get Your Life Back"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote><p>Aren&#8217;t you tired of being nice? Don&#8217;t you just wanna go apeshit?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>This popular meme has more truth in it than you would think. If you feel tired of being nice, there are ways to get your life back.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s good to be nice to other people. Our world desperately needs more kindness and empathy.<\/p>\n<p>But when being nice costs you your mental wellbeing, it\u2019s a totally different story. This is when you turn into a people pleaser. Aren\u2019t you tired of being nice to everyone while neglecting your own needs?<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_64 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title \" >Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #222222;color:#222222\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #222222;color:#222222\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/arent-you-tired-of-being-nice\/#Signs_You_Are_Being_Too_Nice\" title=\"Signs You Are Being Too Nice\">Signs You Are Being Too Nice<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/arent-you-tired-of-being-nice\/#Arent_You_Tired_of_Being_Nice_8_Things_to_Do\" title=\"Aren\u2019t You Tired of Being Nice? 8 Things to Do\">Aren\u2019t You Tired of Being Nice? 8 Things to Do<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/arent-you-tired-of-being-nice\/#1_Know_your_boundaries\" title=\"1. Know your boundaries\">1. Know your boundaries<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/arent-you-tired-of-being-nice\/#2_Find_patterns\" title=\"2. Find patterns\">2. Find patterns<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/arent-you-tired-of-being-nice\/#3_Dont_say_yes\" title=\"3. Don\u2019t say yes\">3. Don\u2019t say yes<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/arent-you-tired-of-being-nice\/#4_Voice_your_boundaries\" title=\"4. Voice your boundaries\">4. Voice your boundaries<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/arent-you-tired-of-being-nice\/#5_Revise_your_social_circle\" title=\"5. Revise your social circle\">5. Revise your social circle<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/arent-you-tired-of-being-nice\/#6_Get_rid_of_one-sided_friendships\" title=\"6. Get rid of one-sided friendships\">6. Get rid of one-sided friendships<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/arent-you-tired-of-being-nice\/#7_Practice_self-praise_and_work_on_your_self-esteem\" title=\"7. Practice self-praise and work on your self-esteem\">7. Practice self-praise and work on your self-esteem<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-10\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/arent-you-tired-of-being-nice\/#8_Do_things_for_yourself\" title=\"8. Do things for yourself\">8. Do things for yourself<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Signs_You_Are_Being_Too_Nice\"><\/span>Signs You Are Being Too Nice<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Do you struggle to say no and set boundaries?<\/li>\n<li>Do other people constantly ask you for favors and turn to you for help?<\/li>\n<li>Are you used to putting others first?<\/li>\n<li>Are you prone to <a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/mind\/feeling-unappreciated-work-relationship\/\">feeling unappreciated<\/a> and taken for granted?<\/li>\n<li>Do you tend to sweep your emotional problems under the rug?<\/li>\n<li>Do you seek reassurance from others before doing something for yourself?<\/li>\n<li>Are you afraid of disappointing those around you?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>If you relate to the above, there are a few things you can do to stop being a people pleaser and bring more balance into your life.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Arent_You_Tired_of_Being_Nice_8_Things_to_Do\"><\/span>Aren\u2019t You Tired of Being Nice? 8 Things to Do<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Know_your_boundaries\"><\/span>1. Know your boundaries<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>When you are used to succumbing to other people\u2019s needs, you may not even know where your boundaries lie. Be it doing someone a favor or tolerating <a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/signs-your-friend-doesnt-respect-you\/\">a friend\u2019s disrespectful behavior<\/a>, you automatically do what makes others comfortable.<\/p>\n<p>Therefore, next time someone tries to exploit your kindness, ask yourself:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Is their behavior\/question making me uncomfortable?<\/li>\n<li>Would I rather not do what they are asking for?<\/li>\n<li>Are they <a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/overstepping-boundaries-examples\/\">overstepping the line<\/a>?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Answering these questions will help you make sense of how you feel about the situation.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Find_patterns\"><\/span>2. Find patterns<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Recall situations from your past where you had to do things just to seem nice and not disappoint others.<\/p>\n<p>Does your boss often ask you to work late? Do your co-workers always turn to you when a problem pops up? Is your friend constantly using you as a crying shoulder but won\u2019t be there when you need help?<\/p>\n<p>There may be repeating situations when others exploit your kindness. This is what happens when you are always nice to everyone and can\u2019t say no. People take you and your help for granted. That\u2019s why you end up feeling unappreciated and tired of being nice.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Dont_say_yes\"><\/span>3. Don\u2019t say yes<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<figure id=\"attachment_1338\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1338\" style=\"width: 590px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1338\" src=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/people-pleaser-tired-of-being-nice.jpg\" alt=\"people pleaser tired of being nice\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/people-pleaser-tired-of-being-nice.jpg 600w, https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/people-pleaser-tired-of-being-nice-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/people-pleaser-tired-of-being-nice-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1338\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.freepik.com\/free-photo\/face-expressions-illustrations-emotions-feelings_16459952.htm\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Image by rawpixel.com<\/a> on Freepik<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Here comes the difficult part. Knowing your boundaries and recognizing the situations when others overstep them is not enough if you are tired of being nice. If you want to stop being a people pleaser, you should learn to say no and voice your boundaries.<\/p>\n<p>I know how difficult it is when you are used to saying yes and agreeing with everyone. So, start small. You don\u2019t need to say a clear no or sound intimidating in an attempt to protect your boundaries. Just use an indirect answer or an excuse when someone asks you for a favor:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Can we talk some other time? I\u2019m in the middle of something right now.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not a good moment. I need to take the kids from school.<\/p>\n<p>I will think about it and let you know.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not sure, let me see.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>In other words, start with avoiding saying an immediate yes.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Voice_your_boundaries\"><\/span>4. Voice your boundaries<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Are you tired of being nice to your friends and family? Sometimes they take advantage of your kindness unintentionally. This is when voicing your boundaries is particularly important.<\/p>\n<p>You see, when you are always nice to everyone, people may not even think that something is wrong. They assume that you are okay with doing what they are asking for. Since you never voice your opinion or go against their wants, it doesn\u2019t even cross their mind that you may not be happy with helping them.<\/p>\n<p>So, be honest and tell your friend that you are not okay with their behavior. <a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/signs-your-friend-doesnt-care-about-you\/\">If they care about you<\/a>, they will understand. They may not have the slightest idea that you are tired of being nice!<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Revise_your_social_circle\"><\/span>5. Revise your social circle<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>As a people pleaser, you may keep certain individuals in your life just out of habit or because you feel obliged to stay in contact with them. You hate to disappoint others so much that you prefer to tolerate toxic and annoying people than <a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/quotes-about-cutting-people-off\/\">cut ties<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Take a look at your social circle. Do you truly enjoy the company of the <a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/mind\/you-are-who-you-hang-out-with\/\">people you hang out with<\/a>? Do you have a great time with them and feel encouraged and happy in their company? Or is there someone you\u2019d rather not meet up with, but you do because this friendship feels obligatory?<\/p>\n<p>There could be someone who always criticizes you. Or a person who imposes their opinions on you. Or <a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/outgrowing-your-friends-signs\/\">a friend you\u2019ve outgrow<\/a>n, so you don\u2019t have anything in common anymore.<\/p>\n<p>The presence of such people in your life could be a part of the problem. Aren\u2019t you tired of being nice to everyone, including those you don\u2019t belong with?<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_Get_rid_of_one-sided_friendships\"><\/span>6. Get rid of one-sided friendships<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>But an even bigger problem is the <a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/friend-of-convenience-signs\/\">friendship of convenience<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Do you have friends who call you only when they need something? Is someone in your life always in trouble, so you rescue them time after time? Are your friends willing to listen to you, or are you the only one who listens? Do they want to know how you are doing, or do they talk only about themselves?<\/p>\n<p>These are the signs of a\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/one-sided-friendship-signs\/\">one-sided friendship<\/a>. Such connections don\u2019t bring any value to your life. So, sit and think about whether you need such \u201cfriends\u201d. Maybe you\u2019d be better off without them? Aren\u2019t you tired of being nice to people who just use you?<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7_Practice_self-praise_and_work_on_your_self-esteem\"><\/span>7. Practice self-praise and work on your self-esteem<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>The root of being a people pleaser lies in low self-esteem. In essence, you lack the assertiveness to stand up for yourself. So, if you feel tired of being nice, you need to work on your self-esteem.<\/p>\n<p>There are many ways you could improve it, but one of the simplest is practicing self-praise. If you feel like other people undervalue your effort and take you for granted, start with yourself. Do you ever praise yourself? Or do you only hear your inner critic?<\/p>\n<p>So, if you are tired of being nice to others, start being nice to yourself. Pick a couple of positive things you did today and praise yourself for these small accomplishments. This may be as simple as finishing a report at work or tipping a waitress.<\/p>\n<p>Self-praise helps you feel appreciated and valued, and this is exactly what you need.<\/p>\n<p>Here are a few guides that could help you improve your self-esteem:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/mind\/not-feeling-good-enough\/\">Not Feeling Good Enough? 5 Reasons Why You Feel This Way &amp; What to Do<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/mind\/negative-self-talk-examples\/\">70 Negative Self-Talk Examples That Kill Your Self-Esteem<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/mind\/feeling-invisible-causes\/\">6 Causes of Feeling Invisible and How to Overcome Them<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/mind\/affirmations-for-confidence-self-esteem\/\">44 Powerful Affirmations for Confidence and Self-Esteem<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"8_Do_things_for_yourself\"><\/span>8. Do things for yourself<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-903\" src=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/nature-watching.jpeg\" alt=\"nature watching\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/nature-watching.jpeg 800w, https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/nature-watching-300x200.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/nature-watching-768x512.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Are you tired of being nice? Maybe you neglect your own needs and don\u2019t even realize it.<\/p>\n<p>When was the last time you did something for yourself? Do you ever spend time alone, just to enjoy some silence and put your thoughts in order? Do you constantly cancel or postpone your plans in order to make others happy?<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s time you do something for yourself. <a href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/personality\/going-to-the-movies-alone-weird\/\">Go to that movie alone<\/a> if others want to watch something else. Cancel your social plans and enjoy a day of relaxation at home instead. Get yourself that telescope you\u2019ve long dreamed of.<\/p>\n<p>Aren\u2019t you tired of being nice to others? Maybe you should be nice to yourself first?<\/p>\n<p><em>Featured image by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freepik.com\/free-vector\/set-people-hiding-faces-social-masks_28590652.htm\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">upklyak<\/a> on Freepik<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Aren&#8217;t you tired of being nice? Don&#8217;t you just wanna go apeshit? This popular meme has more truth in it than you would think. If you feel tired of being nice, there are ways to get your life back. It\u2019s good to be nice to other people. Our world desperately needs more kindness and empathy. &#8230; <a title=\"Aren\u2019t You Tired of Being Nice? Do These 8 Things to Get Your Life Back\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/communication\/arent-you-tired-of-being-nice\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Aren\u2019t You Tired of Being Nice? Do These 8 Things to Get Your Life Back\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1337,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[17],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1335"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1335"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1335\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1339,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1335\/revisions\/1339"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1337"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1335"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1335"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/powerofmisfits.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1335"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}