As an asocial introvert, I often feel like people annoy me. It seems that as soon as I leave home, I always stumble upon someone who is loud and annoying. Be it a group of laughing teens passing by or an overly friendly neighbor, someone is there to disturb my peaceful walk.
But whose fault is it that people get on my nerves? Are they doing anything wrong just because they want to socialize or laugh? Of course, not.
If you struggle with the same problem, too, you need to find ways to cope with your annoyance. You can’t force other people to behave the way you want them to, but you can change your perception. Too much negativity and bitterness don’t do any good for your mental and physical health, anyway.
Read on to learn some handy tips and tricks to use when everyone annoys you.
7 Things I Do When People Annoy Me–Try Them Out:
1. Focus your attention on something beautiful
This is a simple and effective trick I came up with recently. I’ve been too negative lately, with everyone annoying me all the time. So, I had to find a way to ignore all those loud people that annoy me during my walks.
Every time someone gets on my nerves, I look around and find one beautiful object to concentrate on. It is usually something related to nature–a tree with a crown of golden leaves or an unusual cloud in the sky.
It works immediately and I no longer find myself feeling like everyone is annoying me. I suddenly realize how beautiful the world is and how pointless it is to dwell on negativity.
You may say that it’s easier to find something beautiful to look at while being out. So, what can you do if you are stuck in the office with an annoying co-worker or boss?
In this case, you can put an attention-grabbing object on your desk. For example, it can be a miniature of a cute cat, a photo of a stunning view, or your special someone’s portrait.
Every time you feel annoyed at someone at work, shift your focus on to this object. Observe it, appreciate its beauty and cuteness, feel its magic. You will see how quickly all the negativity goes away.
This simple trick helps you focus away from the person who is causing you distress.
It also reminds you that there is a brighter side of life. You suddenly remember that life is much bigger than dwelling on trivial situations and getting irritated at someone else’s words and behaviors.
2. Visualize being somewhere else
Visualization is another great way to psychologically distance yourself from annoying people. However, this method requires more concentration and willpower as you need to focus on an imaginary picture and not a real object, like in the previous trick.
When you find someone’s presence annoying, you can visualize being in a different place. It can be your home or a beautiful landscape taken from your memory or imagination. The point is to mentally immerse yourself in this place by visualizing it in detail.
For example, visualize how you walk down a park alley on a rainy day. You feel the earthy scent of rain and hear how fallen leaves crunch underfoot. Try to bring to your mind as many details as you can.
The result of this mental exercise is the same as in the previous one–you will most likely forget about the annoying person in front of you and the negativity they cause in you.
If you are not a fan of visualization, you can use the good old method and withdraw yourself from the situation. You can walk away, go to the bathroom, or even just put your headphones on.
This will give you some time to calm down and make sure you don’t lose your temper. Usually, when people annoy us, it’s the first few seconds that are the most difficult.
So, when you get away from the person who is disturbing your peace of mind, even if it’s just for just a couple of minutes, you buy time to put yourself together and cope with irritation.
4. Use an affirmation
Another way to cope when people get on your nerves is to use a calming affirmation.
When someone annoys you and you are about to lose your cool, take a deep breath and tell yourself a statement like:
- I am calm
- I feel calm and peaceful
- I am at peace with other people and the world
- My peace of mind is independent of what others do
You can come up with your own affirmations and repeat them every time someone gets on your nerves.
If all those visualization and affirmation exercises don’t work for you, you can just focus on your breathing. Anyone can do that, including those who have never practiced meditation or anything of that nature.
Just take a few long, deep breaths. It would be great if you could close your eyes too.
Concentrating on your breathing will help neutralize the flow of stress hormones like cortisol in your blood. They are produced when you experience strong negative emotions and they are to blame for stress-related symptoms like a racing heart and tense muscles.
Taking deep breaths will bring you back to the calm state on the physical level.
6. Think about a positive event in the near future
There are many different tricks I use when people annoy me. They all boil down to finding a way to distract myself from negativity and focus my attention on something else.
One of those is thinking about a positive event that is about to happen. For example, you are sitting in the office and hear your annoying co-worker talking. You can’t go away, but even the sound of his voice gets on your nerves.
In this case, you can bring to your mind the picture of coming home and hugging your special someone. Or you can think about the party your best friend is holding this weekend and how fun it will be.
Once again, this mental trick brings your attention to the bright side of life. There are so many great things to look forward to, so why waste your emotions on this insignificant episode of your life?
7. Express your discontent
When a specific person annoys you, it might be a good idea to let them know about it. It’s especially so if it’s a friend or a family member who gets on your nerves with some particular thing they do or say.
It could be that they don’t even realize how their behavior makes you feel, so being honest about it can resolve the issue. Just tell them what bothers you in a straightforward and calm manner. Make sure you don’t sound bitter or disrespectful, as it will only make things worse.
Of course, this tip is applicable only to the people you know well. It’s not a good idea to start an argument with a passerby just because they speak on the phone too loudly or their motorbike makes too much noise! But it can be useful when dealing with annoying family members and co-workers.
When I Feel Like Everyone’s Annoying Me, I Focus on My Perception
As an unsocial loner, I often feel like everyone annoys me when I leave the peaceful comfort of my home. But what I realize is that other people are not obliged to keep quiet just because I’m around! So, the root of the problem is hidden in my perception.
Therefore, if people annoy you too, keep that in mind. You can’t change their behavior, but you can change your perception of it. Use the tricks above to distract yourself from feeling annoyed. Life is too short to waste it on unnecessary negativity!