Whether you just met someone you’d like to hang out with or you two have been friends for years, sometimes you feel like the other person doesn’t reciprocate your interest.
If you suspect that something like this is happening, you need to check through the signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend. Being aware of these indicators will help you save time and avoid disappointment.
Friendships fail for many reasons, and people often let us down. Sometimes it’s our fault and we unknowingly push our friends away. But in any case, you don’t want to waste your time on someone who is not interested.
Signs Someone Doesn’t Want to Be Your Friend
1. You are the only one who suggests things to do
Someone who wants to be your friend also wants to see you. It’s as simple as that. Of course, we are all adults with our busy lives and responsibilities, but we can always find time for those we really care about.
If the other person never suggests anything and acts like they don’t want to see you, then they are probably not interested to be your friend.
Healthy romantic and friendly relationships rely on mutual interest. So when you are the only one who ever suggests something to do together, your friendship is one-sided.
2. They cancel plans
Sometimes friends who are trying to distance themselves from you also cancel plans.
Yes, you may be more active when it comes to suggesting activities to do or social events to go to. But even when you manage to arrange something together, your plans rarely come into reality. Your friend always seems to have something more important than seeing you.
One day they need to stay late at work to finish a report, another time they have sudden family issues. Don’t fool yourself – no matter how busy your friend might be, they would find time for you if they really wanted to see you.
3. They don’t seem interested
Another huge sign someone doesn’t want to be your friend is that they show no interest in you and your life.
When you finally make it and meet up with your friend, they don’t really bother to learn how you’ve been doing all this time. They barely ask you anything and look bored and indifferent when you share your news.
The same is true if you just met someone you’d like to make friends with. A person who wants to get to know you will ask you questions about your life. If they don’t, then they are probably not interested.
4. You are the only one who calls and texts
Mutual interest in a friendship isn’t only about inviting each other. It’s also about staying in touch.
Are you always the one to call and text your friend? If you haven’t talked for a while, do you always text them first? Are you more active in a conversation and the only one who asks questions?
If all this is true about your friend, then most likely, they are not interested to stay in touch with you or maintain this friendship at all.
5. They avoid one-to-one communication
When someone doesn’t want to be your friend anymore, they will avoid talking to you. What’s the best way to do so? See you when there are other people present, of course.
You may notice that it’s been a while since you two did something together. You only see your friend at birthdays, parties, and loud social gatherings. And even when it happens, they barely talk to you at all and always seem to have a conversation with someone else.
But what if you decided to invite your friend to your place? Even if they accept your invitation, they will most likely bring someone else with them.
This kind of behavior clearly says that this person no longer wants to be your friend.
6. They don’t share their news with you
Showing interest is important in a friendship, but so is keeping the other person a part of your life.
Depending on the nature of your friendship, the topics you usually discuss with the other person may vary.
Some friends share really personal things with each other, others touch less intimate topics. But in any case, real friends share their news with each other (especially important ones).
You may stumble upon a Facebook post where your friend reveals that he got a promotion, so he is moving to another city next month. But he didn’t even drop you a message to let you know about it. It’s easy to feel left out and ignored in a situation like this.
When someone doesn’t talk about their life with you, it’s a big sign that they no longer consider you a friend.
7. Their body language is unwelcoming
Say that you are having a coffee with your friend and are telling her about the disagreement you had with your boyfriend.
Does your friend look interested and engaged in the conversation? Or is she turning away, looking elsewhere, and checking her watch, barely nodding and responding with occasional ‘uh-huh’s?
When someone doesn’t want to be your friend, they lack interest in you, and it shows in their body language. Even if they are trying to be polite and hide their real attitude, their nonverbal communication will betray it.
They will turn away when you talk, make little eye contact, keep their arms crossed, and look bored or annoyed.
All these body language cues could be signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend.
8. In a group, they always prefer to talk to other people
Someone’s behavior at social gatherings can also reveal whether they are willing to be your friend or not.
You may notice that your friend talks to everyone else but you at get-togethers and parties. Or they may be fun and talkative with others but quiet and distant with you.
When you are trying to have a chat with your friend, they answer with short indifferent remarks. But as soon as someone else wedges in the conversation, they immediately shift their attention to this person and forget about you.
This behavior is particularly telling when you haven’t seen each other for a while. It means that this person doesn’t care to be your friend. Otherwise, they would love to talk to you and hear about your latest news.
9. They are always busy or have a good excuse up their sleeve
A person who doesn’t want to keep in touch with you will always find a way to cancel plans and turn down invitations. Even if you suggest going to their favorite café or watching a movie they would certainly like, they will find an excuse.
Okay, it can happen a few times that your friend was super busy at work and couldn’t come. Or that he had a tough time in his marriage and wasn’t in a mood to go out. But what if it happens over and over again?
Something is probably not right. People do make time for those they really want to see. So if your friend doesn’t seem to have a free minute to talk to you and always has some kind of excuse, then they most likely just don’t care to maintain a friendship with you.
10. They give you short answers or forget to reply
Texting is an essential means of communication in today’s age. Even though someone’s texting manner may not always reflect their true attitude toward you, online behaviors can still be quite revealing.
Does your friend seem eager to reply when you text them? Are their answers detailed and comprehensive? Or are they short, sometimes even one-word? Do they read your messages after a few days and don’t always reply?
Once again, your friend may happen to be busy and forget to text you back now and then. But if it’s their regular behavior, the truth is that they just don’t want to talk to you.
Beware of one-sided friendships
All the above are signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend. If these behaviors ring true for you, you need to reconsider the nature of this friendship. But before you do that, I’d like you to remember one thing.
It doesn’t always matter how often you talk to or meet up with your friend. What matters is how interested they are. You may have a person in your life who lives far away but is your most loyal and understanding friend.
A lack of interest – whether it comes to social plans or staying in touch – is a huge indicator of a one-sided friendship. So if you find yourself in this kind of situation, the best you can do is to let your friend go.
But make sure you don’t feel bad about yourself. A change in your friend’s attitude is not always your fault. Sometimes it just happens in life and we drift apart from the people we used to care about.
So if your friend is becoming distant, the wisest approach is to accept it and move on with your life. After all, you don’t want to waste your time and energy chasing people who don’t reciprocate your feelings.