The funny chart above has a lot of truth in it – introverts may sometimes struggle to make friends. But even though they can be overly quiet and guarded before they get to know you well, they too like to meet new people and form friendships.
If you want to know how introverts make friends or how to meet new people as a quiet person, read on.
First of all, we will list a few places where introverts typically find friends and then provide some tips on how to connect with new people if you have a reserved personality.
How Introverts Make Friends – 5 Most Common Ways
Introverts may look unfriendly and aloof at times, but more often than not, it’s just a false first impression. In reality, most of them are genuinely interested in others and do want to meet new people.
Of course, there are exceptions such as loners or antisocial introverts who are not really interested in expanding their social circle, but they are not so many.
Here are a few most common ways introverts make friends:
1. By following a hobby or interest
I believe that this is the best way to make friends as an introvert. Why? Because this personality type appreciates when their friends can offer them deep communication and engaging conversations.
If you meet people with similar interests or hobbies, it’s a sure way to have such communication. You will speak the same language because they will be passionate about the same things as you are.
That’s why many introverts make friends in hobby groups and classes. Starting an activity or hobby is also a great way to connect to others and do something together without the need to have awkward conversations.
2. Online
The online world has a lot to offer, especially to the quiet ones. Participating in a chatroom or social media community gives you the comfort to talk to people without exposing who you are, what you do for a living, or what your background is.
Online communication doesn’t require you to have boring small talk or answer annoying personal questions to meet someone new. You can talk about anything you like and make friends with like-minded people online.
I’m sure that most introverts in the world have used social media, forums, and chatrooms to make connections with other people.
3. At work or in college/school
When you have a full-time job, it’s natural to get closer to the people you work with. Yes, it’s impossible to get on with everybody in the office, and there always will be difficult personalities present. But most likely, there will be one or two people you will resonate with.
That’s why introverts often form lifelong friendships with their co-workers. Overcoming work problems together unites you with the other person and strengthens your bond. It also gives you the opportunity to get to know their true self in difficult and conflict situations.
College and school are also among the most common ways how introverts make friends for exactly the same reasons. The quiet ones often carry their school friendships through a lifetime.
4. By joining a community
This is a perfect way to make friends if you are an empathetic introvert. If you love helping other living beings – be it humans or animals, you can join a volunteer community and make the world a better place together with others who share the same goal.
It can be a community that undertakes environment-friendly initiatives or a local animal shelter that aims to save stray dogs.
If you are an introvert who cares about a certain issue or global problem, joining a related community is a great way to make friends with like-minded people.
5. Through their extroverted friends, of course
Introverts and extroverts make great friends, that’s true. And it’s through their outgoing friends that the quiet ones often meet new people.
Who else if not your extroverted friend will encourage you to leave your introverted shell for a moment and socialize more?
Yes, as an introvert, you can be perfectly fine with your quiet solitary life, but you may also be interested in starting a new relationship or finding new friends. Accepting an extrovert’s invitation to a party or gathering is a good way to meet new people.
This is probably the most old-fashioned and “safe” way how introverts make friends.
How to Make Friends as an Introvert? 5 Effective Tips
Now that we have figured out where and how an introvert can make new friends, let’s take a look at a few tips that will help you connect with new people.
1. Ask questions
Asking questions is a great way to start friendships. It shows the person you just met that you are interested. It’s also a perfect way to turn the attention away from you since most introverts don’t like to be in the spotlight.
Asking a stranger may look like a scary and uncomfortable thing to do, but it’s a lot easier than it seems. Even if the right questions don’t come to mind naturally, you can easily learn to do it. Just listen to the other person and think up a related question or two you could ask him/her.
Introverts are great listeners, so why not use your strong side to form bonds with other people? If you master the art of asking questions, you will find it much easier to connect to those around you and turn acquaintances into friends.
2. Mind your body language and eye contact
One common problem many quiet people struggle with is that their body language doesn’t look open and welcoming. It’s an important aspect to improve if you want to make friends as an introvert.
In fact, our eyes, facial expressions, and body positions give other people subtle cues that tell them whether or not we are interested in interaction.
You may be secretly dying to meet someone new, but if you are keeping your arms crossed and are looking at your shoes all the time, it’s not going to happen. Why? Because other people will assume that you are not interested because you are too shy or aloof. It happens unconsciously.
For this reason, mind your body language and try to keep your arms and legs relaxed. Make sure you are turning towards the person you are talking to and are maintaining good eye contact.
3. Go out with a sociable friend or relative
As we said above, introverts often meet new people through their extroverted friends or family members. And it makes sense why. You feel much more confident and relaxed when you go out with someone you trust than if you find yourself in the company of people you barely know.
Having an outgoing buddy for attending social events is a great way to approach new people without the awkwardness of talking to a total stranger. When your sociable friend introduces you to someone they know, it feels safer and more comfortable to start a conversation.
This means that you will feel more relaxed and look more open, therefore, increasing your chances of making friends as an introvert.
4. Get a social pet
Have you ever seen how easily dog owners start a conversation with each other in the street? It’s because it’s like meeting a like-minded person who shares the same concerns.
So, if you are an introvert who loves animals, consider adopting a dog. You will see how effortless it will be for you to make friends with other dog lovers while taking your pet for a walk.
And the beauty of this way of making friends that it’s feels natural and unintrusive, which is very important for an introvert. Most likely, the conversations with other dog owners will revolve around your pet, not yourself.
You will also find it easier to connect with them since you will have a common interest and a ready topic to talk about.
5. Enroll in classes or become a member of a community of your interest
Starting an activity you are passionate about is not only a perfect way to make friends as an introvert, but it can also bring you closer to fulfilling your purpose. Sometimes a simple hobby or passion can evolve into your life’s work.
For example, you can become a member of a public library in your city or join a local community of amateur astronomers. Whatever your interest is, you will find it much easier to connect with other people if you have a common topic to discuss.
Introverts don’t like forced communication, so when the conversation is flowing naturally, you are halfway toward turning your new acquaintance into a friend.
As you see, introverts make friends the same way all the other people do. They may struggle a little bit in the beginning, but they enjoy social interaction and meeting new people just like everyone else does.
Whether you are an introvert yourself or are trying to understand a quiet acquaintance of yours, give it some time. Introverts don’t open up to other people quickly, so making friends with them takes time and patience.
